Many people play SM because it is an enhancement to sex and an exciting mind game, but do not consider that it can have a spiritual context. It's difficult for many people to conceive that raw and rough physical sexuality can relate to the spiritual. Spirituality is either dogmatic religion or abstract and etherial, divorced from the body, but the body is in the spirit, a part that cannot be split from it until death.

It's natural to me that Leather/SM and spirituality, especially shamanism, work well together. I seek an ecstatic and somatic realization of spirit. SM is capable of producing the altered states of consciousness, catharsis and intense psychic bonding between two or more people that makes it a viable shamanic practice. I bring to SM a thorough knowledge of bodywork and yogic practices that are part of my shamanic training.

Any heightened physical experience - playing on the edge - can invoke emotional release and spiritual experience. Deep tissue massage, Rolfing or Shiatsu, can call up repressed emotions, alowing them to be resolved and released. There is a similarity between these therapeutic techniques and SM. Unconscious emotional blocks must be released to achieve personal freedom and to pursue a spiritual path. One must be purged by a psychic enema.

I was trained in SM by an Old Garde Master. So, many of my ethics and behaviors are founded on Old Garde beliefs, such as learning SM as a bottom. But I like some of the New Garde attitudes and behaviors, too. They have given leatherfolk a greater freedom of behavior. I guess you could call me Middle Garde. Some traditions are good because they support a beneficial and ethical sense of life. Others are corpses that weight us down and stiffle needed change. Some parts of traditions are beneficial, while other parts are negative. Knowing what to keep and what to throw away, rather than rebelling in toto against tradition is the beginning of wisdom and finding a path in life. Not all of the Old Garde tradition is good for our time, for example, that one was either a top or a bottom and couldn't switch roles, some of it was regional or personality based and downright silly and not relevant to the present or to the creation of a universal ethical system, but it shouldn't be rejected completely because we would lose a valuable history and ethical system. The trick is to separate the rational ethical system from the arbitrary garbage and to know the reasons why it existed and worked for those who lived it.

I call myself a Leatherfaerie because I'm also a Radical Faerie, a member of that other magical tribe of gay brothers. I could also be called a leather bear because I am and like men who are hairy and bearded - an integral part of a natural masculinity. Bear bellies are OK, too.

I make my own SM toys. I have spent many years designing, testing and redesigning SM toys. That is part of the dedication of my life to SM. Not only is there a deep satisfaction gained in making my equipment, but I know how well it will work, its strengths and shortcomings.

Giving and getting pain is not the primary issue in my practice of SM. SM need not even be painful, but it is about getting and giving intense physical and mental stimulation. That stimulation can even be sensory deprivation, allowing the mind to create its own stimulation. I enjoy flogging, whipping, abrasion, temporary piercing, CBT, TT, Fisting, Electrotorture, Water Sports, Heavy Bondage, submission, fucking and sucking. Scat is out of the question - it is too biologically dangerous and it's not a turn-on. I want my bottoms to love being helplessly bound and know that they are in my control. Then, I want to push them to the limit so that they break and their minds trip out and bring them back forever changed and thankful for my attention. When I have succeeded in causing a man to simultaneously laugh and cry, I am as thankful as he. This task is not to be taken lightly. It is an incredible responsibility that has its risks, but the potential benefits outweigh those risks if one has considerable knowledge and experience of SM techniques. Above all, the intent is not to cause harm, either physical or mental, but to offer experience that leads to self-knowledge and to have some hot fun between two or more consenting adults. I subscribe to the principles of "Safe, Sane and Consensual" SM, but that is a flexible definition best decided by the persons involved. The greatest benefits and risks can only be achieved by playing on the edge.

I do not fully subscribe to some concepts in current urban SM theory. The most important one is that the bottom is in control of the scene in the sense of setting limits beyond which the top must not go. It is commonly understood that limits are meant to be challenged or pushed a bit, how else could one grow? Scenes should be negotiated beforehand. The bottom has the final say. If a top and bottom cannot agree, then a scene between them should not ocurr. This ethic protects the one who is placed in a potentially risky position. But in reality, a helplessly bound bottom is at the mercy of the top's intentions. He is not in control. However, a top needs to feel a sense of control, or dominance, and that he exists not just to fulfill a bottom's need for sensual stimulation. A competent bottom can give up self-control, truly submit, and allow the top to control the scene until his limits are reached. If the top wants to push the bottom's limits to make him experience a new state of mind, then the relationship plays on the edge of this ethic, risking a revelatory breakthrough or destruction of the relationship and perhaps bodily harm. But what about consensual Master and slave relationships? Slaves, by definition, have no limits by choice. Their will is to please the Master, so all ethical considerations are the responsibility of the Master. The well-being of the slave solely depends on the goodwill and competence of the Master. Only on trust can such relationships exist.

Not every SM scene must go to this breaking point of revelatory experience. Sometimes the purpose is just highly charged erotic and fetishistic fun. It can also be one of the most profound ways of making love because of the intensity, intimacy and trust-building. I want SM scenes to be sexually charged and to raise that energy to a white-hot peak. I do not want sex divorced from SM, as some players do. However, there are sometimes appropriate reasons to focus energies away from physical sex and the genitals to create a different mindset and achieve a specific purpose. Sex energies can be rechanneled in many ways to create unique experiences that will be as individual as the persons experiencing them. This is Sex Magic.

Cyrwyn@coolcatdaddy.com