LIVING ON THE EDGE

© 1986 by Stuart Norman

Appeared in RFD #46, Spring ‘86, “Really Fabulous Dish”
Let this article stand for itself.


        The land of Faerie, as legend has it, is a magical realm overlaying the everyday, mundane world, but unseen by ordinary mortals. Only those who are enchanted can pierce the veil between the worlds and see into this land. Faeries have special powers and so can flit across the border at will.
        If we gay men define ourselves as faeries we see the world differently from the majority of people. We live near that border - on the edge of the known world. Beyond it there lie dragons and other creatures of myth and magical powers. It is an important metaphor for our very being in this world.

        I’ve just attended the first Conference On Gay Spirituality held in Berkeley, CA, at the Shared Visions Center on January 25th. It was sponsored by the Tayu Order for Gay Spirituality and the River (Russian) Zen Group. Notable figures teaching there were Tundra Wind, Daniel Ennis, Don Kilhefner of Treeroots in L.A. (colleague of Mitch Walker, author of VISIONARY LOVE and MEN LOVING MEN), Episcopal priest and civil rights activist, Malcolm Boyd; Ed Steinbrecher of the D.O.M.E. Center in L.A., among others.
        Out of this conference has come some important political implications for the gay movement. There was an overwhelming affirmation that we who think of ourselves as gay are different from the majority of people, mostly those of heterosexual orientation. But we are not just homosexuals. That term, barely 100 years old, is used to medicalize/psychologize a lifestyle and reduce it to concrete sexual behaviors - not an accurate description of our lives.

         We are different; we feel and think differently, but we are not better or worse than any other human beings. Yet we are so often stereotyped by our culture as living specific roles such as hairdresser, designer, artist - creative, leaders of fashion and style. Some of us live up to that ideal as creators of “high culture” .Nevertheless, this stereotyping is usually derogatory in nature such that our patriarchal society views these occupations or social roles as unmasculine, thus unworthy of serious consideration. These are dispensable professions, not practical. Thus we are forced to live on the edge of society. We are outsiders, living a precarious existence based on political whims. Or else we try to hide our differences and try to live like everyone else to be able to enjoy the social franchise.
        We are the visionaries, the future-oriented radical-progressives who disturb social conventions. We are creatures of myth, and in myths there lie powers of the psyche to take up that singular path toward spiritual growth; to become whole, integrated beings of shining power. But our culture has relegated myth to the realm of superstition in an attempt to dispel the dark. All that has been accomplished is to bury that power deeper in the psyche where it haunts us, out of reach, beyond control. Most people fear the darkness, attempt to dispel it with the light of rationality and science, itself a myth structure; they will not come to terms with it and so set the stage for the dark forces to overwhelm all of us. Now it is time for us to counter this negative imbalance, to be the agents of change. It is time to wake up to our role in human destiny.
        We have been associated with the creatures of darkness in the psyche of our culture. Thus many people perceive us as a threat to social mores - to the family, marriage, children, and now to the physical health of the nation. We are pushed to the brink of the precipice. Dare we take a leap of faith into the chasm below?
         In other cultures that accepted homosexual behavior, gay people usually lived on the edge of the village apart from the ordinary folk. So the metaphor is quite literally based. They were shamans, witch-doctors, prophets - feared and respected, often not understood, but essential to the survival and health of the tribe. I believe this is the often unrealized power we gay people have. And there is some grudging admiration of gay peoples’ talents and perceptions even in our society which could be turned into an asset.

        It is unfortunate that AIDS arose in the wake of increasing social conservatism and has sapped so much our political power. It has had the effect to make our movement conservative, conciliatory, assimilationist. Yet our movement has commendably handled the medical crisis, pulling us together to support research, funding, lobbying efforts to protect ourselves. It has forced us to take a practical approach for our survival. If it were not for our efforts, given the current political reality, the health of the world might be even more in jeopardy. We have acted responsibly. But AIDS can’t take all of our energies. That is at best only holding the fort. We need a new ennobling vision of ourselves and our roles in human culture that can be perceived as beneficial by the majority. While we have gained some respect, we don’t quite measure up as a valid or special interest group in the social mind.
        The growing gay spiritual vision is diametrically opposed to the current political ideology of the official “gay movement,” which is assimilationist and attempts to demonstrate that we are just like everyone else except in our sexual orientation. This is clearly an attempt out of fear to straight-jacket us into a culturally acceptable mold, to deny our uniqueness, and I believe could spell the death of gay liberation. It could even strike the death-knell for the human race because now, more than ever before, we are needed to fulfill a social role that has for too long been excluded from our society.
        So how can our society recognize that we are needed, especially in this time that we appear to be the albatross hanging around its neck? To be able to do this we must be aware of our isolationist and politically correct positions which set up opposition and inflexibility - ideological dogma which prevents all people from relating humanely. We have politicized the right to pursue pleasure and fantasy in a society which rejects the validity of those ways of living for their own sake. Our freedom to enjoy our sexual behaviors and lifestyles is tied to the freedom of all people to choose preferred sexual behaviors and lifestyles. It is a value judgment of the individual which must be made a social value.
        We have within us the possibility to offer a new way out of the prevailing course of mythical/apocalyptic, right-wing politics. A healing, harmonious way to end the cultural onslaught which is so destructive to life. That vision exists in the great religions as “Blessed are the peacemakers.” Now we must have the courage to say “enough", and act our beliefs to convince people to reject prevailing cultural values.
        If we do not take a positive stand and align with the other peacemakers - those whose consciousness is beyond the competitiveness and warmongering of current political reality - a new dark age may be ushered in, that is, if we survive the coming holocaust which could mark the end of western culture. Then our only hope would be to establish faerie sanctuaries - enclaves of spiritual healing and knowledge to preserve our way of life against the social chaos, just as were monasteries in the early medieval era. This scenario may be the challenge we will soon face.
        Gay people will always exist, for we will always be needed. We can take pride in that. But are we willing to accept living on the edge? There is a certain freedom in being unattached to social mores and with that a certain responsibility to examine and understand what our lives mean. There is a role for each individual person. But this means that it is time to bring to a close the adolescence of the gay movement, stop squandering our energies in living the good consumerist lifestyle, and take up a mature stand for ourselves and all of humanity.

Contents Where Has Our Goodwill Gone Leathermen Are Faeries, Too