LEATHERMEN ARE FAERIES, TOO

© 1995 by Stuart Norman

This unpublished article has been problematical for me. I’ve rewritten it several times in the attempt to make it seem less divisive. Certainly its contents reflect no intention to do so. The editor of a prominent leather/SM magazine and I were stymied over the approach to take. RFD also seemed to have a problem with it. Thus it languished. I offer it to you to take as you will.


        Faerie can be a derogatory term, it’s so unbutch, but there is a group of gay men who took back the power in the name and made it a positive association, a lifestyle and a movement. So what have leathermen to do with them? A lot.
        Leathermen and Radical Faeries share much in common, but ignorance, misunderstanding and prejudice between the groups often keeps them apart. The isolation of differing lifestyles and socializing places are factors, too. Our community is split into sometimes contemptuous factions. Yet we have much to learn from each other which could enrich our lives. Both groups are sub-minorities within the gay minority. Neither group is accepted as representative, rightly so. However, we are derided by our brothers and sisters for our behaviors and used as scapegoats by enemies of the community to characterize gay people as a threat to traditional values. Of course, our detractors are right. We are threatening. There is a magical power we have enforcing this threat.
        First, some definitions and origins of both groups will be helpful. A faery is a humanoid having a childlike attitude of playfulness, wisdom and magical power; certainly not a negative identification. The anachronistic spelling refers to the mythical land of Faerie wherein faeries lived.
        Faeries see themselves as gentle, loving men, nature lovers, healers, shamans, pagans, feminists, fun-lovers, seekers of a wholistic way of life. They believe that our society is unbalanced, too masculine oriented, thus authoritarian, bigoted, violent and warlike. So they work to balance the masculine and feminine within themselves toward an androgynous state of being. They often worship the Goddess, the Earth Mother, instead of the patriarchal God, to restore that balance.
        The faerie movement began in the mid-1960s during the hippy movement, growing out of the Gay Liberation Front. Questioning of cultural values, sex roles, and ways of relating, along with the new political and sexual freedoms, gave rise to a unconventional gay movement which is still growing today. It was a new way for men to relate.
        The gay male leather/SM subculture had the seeds of its beginning in the mid 1950s among some gay men who were dissatisfied with the conventional, effeminant gay male role model. Wanting to relate in masculine ways and taking a model from the ancient Greeks of mentor and student, an apprentice relationship of a mature man teaching and training a younger man, the master/slave and daddy/son role models were adopted. It was another new way to relate and fulfilled needs not otherwise met. Those men established the covenant of leather with its emphasis on brotherhood, loyalty, individualism, independence, rites of passage and initiation. Outlaw motorcycle clubs lent a model around which the subculture found an identification in the modern world. Black leather garb reinforced the image of the hyper-masculine, macho warrior. This attitude of toughness and outlawry was a way to be left alone, meant to be threatening to the general public. It weeded out the uninterested and the merely curious. By the mid 1960s it was established in the major cities, and after Stonewall and the beginning of the gay liberation movement it grew quickly.
        The leather/SM subculture hasn’t been perceived as a political movement, but as a fantasy lifestyle and recreation or a brotherhood similar to a secret society. As a group, leathermen don’t share a political position perhaps because the underground nature of SM is apolitical, for pleasure, and the negative public perception surrounding it makes it a perversion to be shunned. However, faeries have a countercultural movement, slightly leftist and progressive or civil libertarian, having strong ecological, gender role and spiritual positions. Both groups have members from all socioeconomic levels.
        The overtly masculine attitude of many leathermen has been viewed by some faeries and feminists as perpetrating sexist stereotypes - masculine dominance, authoritarianism, violence. It is not viewed as the role play parody it so often is. Some gay men and even some lesbians like the masculine image of leather because they know they are gentle, nonviolent men or women. They recognize their femininity within. The masculine image is just that, only an image for balance and fun. Other leathermen may be running from their feminine nature in trying to be super butch, macho, show attitude - SM = Stand and Model - a reaction from insecurity.
        Of course there exists the opposite prejudice. Some leathermen view faeries as too feminine and flippant or even weak. We are threatened by this defensive attitude, as they are by us. Some faeries and feminists ask a valid question: How could giving and receiving pain be sane and healthy? We can answer that by a common understanding of consent, mutuality and seeking new experiences we may find self-knowledge, catharsis, a therapeutic growth experience and intimacy. It is our rite of passage into our brotherhood.
        Most leatherfolk practice SM lovingly. Real sadomasochism is not a part of our lifestyle. Cruelty, the intent to degrade and destroy another as an exercise of power or wish to receive real punishment are not healthy. SM is only a game, a ritualized form of intense play. For most leatherfolk SM is more than hot, masculine sex. The intensity of the dominance and submission, role playing and pain become a way to express love and share intimacy. For some others it’s a way to introduce a spiritual dimension. Those of us who have the experience know how an SM scene can create altered states of consciousness and a strong bond between two people.
        We live in a society that practices nonconsensual sadomasochism everyday. Our cultural inheritance is male dominance, abusive relationships, authoritarian businesses, schools, churches and legal system which stresses the threat of punishment for deviance. However, SM can offer a way of conscious liberation from cultural conditioning. Thus SM becomes a parody and a comment on life in our culture. We might well ask the question whether SM play safely channels aggression into productive insights. There are very few instances of SM scenes getting out of hand. Those few hurt usually are because of inexperience, ignorance of technique and safety procedures and faulty equipment. The very conscious attention to the dominant and submissive role play is a reversal from the everyday unconscious, socially sanctioned, authoritarian behavior and thus is a way to understand the social training that lies within us. It is a way of exploring power relationships and can make us aware of our aggressive tendencies and how we handle anger, fear, hurt and love.
        Despite these differences, leatherfolk and faeries share much more in common. Both faeries and leatherfolk are tribal peoples existing within the nation-state, having ways of relating that are characteristic of tribal societies: group identity, beliefs, rituals that make a community. We like to think of ourselves as members of worldwide brotherhoods, and we believe in extending friendship and assistance to our brothers.
        Both subcultures share dreams of strong relationships and fantasies of faerie or SM-oriented communities. Leatherfolk have their bike or SM clubs: Hellfire, Avatar, The 15, GMSMA, etc. Faeries have their circles and rural sanctuaries: Short Mountain, Wolf Creek. Runs and gatherings give the participants opportunities to meet others of similar interests to relate and play in the freedom of seclusion from the outside world.
        We have our different forms of drag and role playing, but for similar purposes. Faeries dress for lightness and comfort or for gender role parody or other role plays. Leatherfolk dress for gender role image, too, and sexual preference coding. Leather is a fetish for many, and being animal skin is atavistic, perhaps a play on the hunter and prey. The power, mystery and threat leather evokes is its own parody on our culture of dominance. Certainly both are conscious uses of stereotypical images to manipulate perceptions. It’s all part of our specialized forms of group humor, shared meanings and identity. I’m sure most of us can appreciate a man wearing a dress, if it’s tasteful, of course.
        Leatherfolk and faeries share sex positive beliefs that sensuality is necessary for a healthy life. A greater acceptance of physical appearances and age differences characterize both groups. We have rituals of radical sexuality and relating; we explore realms of the psyche where others fear to tread, leading a forefront into the unknown, uncharted areas of sexuality and relating. We are working on our dark sides, exploring ourselves, the human condition and learning from this to grow. We want experiential knowledge in a society that suffers the problem of intellectualizing experience, and by that process devalues it by explaining it away. We want a return to the body, to the earth, to connect and relate in real, meaningful and significant ways. So faeries and leatherfolk are the radicals of gaydom in our attempt to get back to the roots of ourselves and discover what is truly meaningful in human life. What we seek ultimately is transcendence through sex. In short, we are romantics, wanting to feel our hearts beat strongly in a cold, soulless age.
        Most of all we share the sense of bonding, intimacy, commitment, loyalty, respect, open communication and trust building - all those attributes that create the foundation for a good SM scene. If we don’t share these basics, then they are ideals to attain.
        Our lifestyles give a finger up the ass to social mores. Our stereotyped behaviors are a game for effect: signals and comments on society. Therefore we have become jesters or clowns, especially if we use humor. There is humor in our plight, for leatherfolk and faeries are outsiders, social outcasts, even within the gay community. Being doubly outcast we view our society differently from the mainstream, as do all discriminated minorities, thus we may be able to offer potentially valuable insights into social problems. We can serve a needed social function that our society doesn’t recognize. How society can be persuaded to acknowledge the role we play is another problem entirely.
        Some scholars associated with the faerie movement are furthering research into the role of the cross-gendered individual in primitive societies. Often these persons were selected to be come shamans: healers, visionaries, spiritual teachers, highly respected positions. The Amerindian berdache is a prime example of one who can play all these roles. Unfortunately our society doesn’t value the visionary, a reason for its imbalance. Faery philosophy teaches that we need to fulfill this role, seriously or as clowns using humor to critique society, throwing the inhumanity of society and its foibles back in its face.
        If being gay is a spiritual condition, as faeries believe it is, then our ability to see outside the condition of the cultural box and bring back knowledge is sorely needed in these times. We have sensitivity, creativity and the ability to speak from the heart. Let’s use our gifts to serve society rather than only ourselves.
        Today, the leather/SM community considerably differs from its origins. In the late 1970s leather and SM became fashionable, even faddish for those who had no understanding of our beliefs and behaviors, and it grew away from its roots and meaningfulness. The sense of higher loyalty and conviction was lost except to a few dedicated and thoughtful persons. It had become a style. So where is our subculture going today? Certainly it is not dying. Perhaps it is looser, less formal and more open. The interest in SM is growing. Its safe-sex aspects have made it a viable way of stimulation and sensuality during the AIDS crisis. However, there must be other reasons for its growth. Perhaps it is the lure of the dark and dangerous, or of some funky and fundamental roots within we must reach, or is it the love of role playing to escape the standardization of the mindless social machine. Or is it longing for lost brotherhood and community? We need to belong where we are wanted.
        I want us to examine ourselves, our motives and intents, and accept my challenge to be different. We have the potential to be shaman-warriors, to work for healing and cultural change while having fun. The shaman or jester may be respected, even feared, in some societies, but he/she still may be too different and other-oriented to be a “regular person” .Gay people may have to face that fact, that we can’t be like everyone else; why should we want to be? We will always be special people and set apart from the mainstream whether that is considered positive or negative. Yet there is strength in being fey. In the Don Juan books of Carlos Casteneda, the brujo, or magician, taught the way of impeccability and integrity, that courage to be and act differently, to rely on oneself, trust one’s own perceptions and decisions, to journey into the dark to reach the light, to learn new things and serve the community. Can we do that? Not all of us are cut out for that role, nor should all try it, but we need to know that it is possible and an ideal to support.
        How do we wish to relate to ourselves, to other groups, to society? Can we act tribally and think of ourselves as a loving community? Can we support and care for each other even unto death? Can we be leatherfaeries? Could we get to know and learn from each other, learn to respect our differences? Otherwise there is the ever-present danger that both groups could become more separatist and elitist and fall into a trap of rigid behavior closed to furthering experiences.
        Because I and some others have been members of both tribes for years, I know there is interest on both sides. Can we overcome our fears and prejudices and agree to meet, learn and enjoy the differences and similarities we need to share? It could be a fun growth experience for all concerned. Despite our differences, we can offer respect and join in a larger brotherhood of friends.



LEATHERFAERIE SHAMANISM

        There is a fledgling movement that began in the California Bay area and the Los Angeles area to unite the radical sexuality of leatherfolk/SMers and Radical Faeries, therefore creating Leatherfaeries. Because many leatherfolk and faeries perceive a deep spiritual dimension to their sexuality, they have much in common, although the forms of expression may differ. Some faeries are now finding that SM is as valid as any sexual or spiritual expression. It is ritual, rites of passage, communication, trust building, even therapy or a sexual yoga that leads to a deeper understanding of the self - call it a breakthrough or gnosis through intense mental and physical stimulation. Accompanying this outlook some self-identified leatherfolk/SMers are opening up to the loving openness and flexible freedom of the faery philosophy, stepping out of the rigid roles expected of them by their in-group. It is a redefinition on both sides to create a larger, whole being having a greater understanding of its place in the world. Both groups have members among them who have seen themselves as shamans with potential to heal our schizophrenic culture. These are brotherhoods that could unite as one.
        To many faeries, SM may appear too harsh a practice or way of relating. Feminist and some faery critics have called SM gender role stereotyping, perpetuating male dominance or macho role models and violence, thus counterproductive to personal and social liberation. Therefore I would take issue with this belief by saying that those critics do not understand SM and its purpose of parodying and working out the negative effects of those relationships and laying to rest faery fears that SM is violence.
        SM is not sadomasochism. It is sometimes a role play and parody of sadomasochistic practices, of torture or of master/slave or captor and prisoner relationships. It is no more a pathological behavior than being gay or of children playing “Cops and Robbers” .It's not a case of trying to outbutch the other. These role plays are not a requirement of SM. SM can be called “Sensuality and Mutuality.” The code words today among a majority of leatherfolk/SMers are “Safe, Sane and Consensual.”
        SM is a game, an adult game to be sure, or play. We should know the benefits of play. It is a magical-fantasy structure unhindered by the rules and standards of everyday, practical living - it is make-believe. However, through play we gain insight; it releases creativity. Although the SM scene has structure, as does any game, there is flexibility within it and room for spontaneity, unlike a scripted theatre play. While playacting is fine and has its place, more can be attained if the fantasy is dropped. When two play together without roles, as the real people they are, barriers to intimacy are dropped and the relationship potentially gains an incredible intensity and bonding. It is a case of a doer and a done-to. Here, Harry Hay’s concept of subject/subject consciousness can apply in SM. We learn to treat each other as equals even in different roles. This is something some leatherfolk still have to learn.
        By playing dominant/submissive roles we achieve self-knowledge and perceive with a heightened awareness how real dominance and submission operate in our culture.
        The most important aspect of SM is trust-building. To be able to place yourself, as a submissive, helplessly bound, into a partner’s loving care takes trust. And the dominant bears an incredible burden of responsibility for the health and pleasure of both. The encounter requires mutual respect, as well as a knowledge and technique born out of experience.
        It is often said in urban SM theory that the bottom controls the scene by setting the limits that the top must respect. This isn’t totally true. If the bottom doesn’t get off on the top’s procedures neither will have pleasure. An unresponsive bottom is not fun, nor is an unperceptive, unskilled top. The two have to work together.
        Through SM not only can we gain self-knowledge, but self-confidence. Intense pain can become pleasure, or at least its effects on the body/mind can be beneficial. Endorphins released in our brains during physical stimulation have a narcotizing effect. Or intense pleasure can cross the threshold of pain. One important lesson of SM is that pain is not the bad, to be avoided at any cost sensation that we have been taught by our culture. It is our sense that informs us to pay attention to our body/mind and do something about the situation. Thus by learning a process of relaxing and deep breathing we can learn how to lessen the intensity of the pain and learn to feel its subtle nuances. Therefore SM is an erotic yoga. However, pain isn’t a prerequisite of an SM scene. Yes, we do have built-in pain avoidance, but we can learn how much we can take or how to cause pain without bodily damage. That is a great strength.
        To give or receive pain without anger or the desire to harm or be harmed, or to dominate or submit consensually without the need to win or lose is a rare experience. That is the extraordinary gift of SM.
        SM brings a focus of attention to the immediate here and now and to the interaction of the players. It is more than kinky sex, and its erotic components go beyond the genital to the relationship of ritual bonding.

        Some faeries might be offended by the worship of leather because a cow or steer died to produce it. That is precisely why it is special. I can sympathize with the view not to abuse other life forms, nevertheless, life feeds on life, therefore we should thank the animal spirit that gave its body, notwithstanding the treatment that mass leather and meat producing cattle suffer.
        SMers don’t have to be leather lovers/fetishists. The drag isn’t important to the practice except within an individual’s mind wherein it can have great significance to one’s identity. And not all leatherfolk are practitioners of SM. The drag can be an exclusively sexual fetish or just bikers’ garb. Some faery drag is fetishistic, some isn’t .Drag can be a shamanistic expression.
        The image of leather is part of its magic. As a symbol in our society it has great power. Perhaps it represents the outlaw warrior conjuring up a dark side of humanity, and we are inordinately curious about the dark sides of ourselves. Other drag can evoke images of the clown - beings of lightheartedness and good humor. A major part of faery lifestyle and attitude is to dress in all kinds of drag and play various roles from the very effeminant to the very macho. Leatherfolk are just one end of that continuum, drag queens are the other.
        Both of our brotherhoods have people who live out real roles in society and then play their fantasy roles in the appropriate company and place. We have brothers and sisters from all socioeconomic levels. But our fantasy roles may be our real roles in a wider scheme of human progress. This role-playing provides zaps and guerilla psychology to satirize the causes of hurts and angers in our civilization. It is healing magic.
        Male shamans can be and have been feminine identified or masculine identified as suits their inclination. Most leathermen are male identified homosexuals. Lesbian SMers may identify with either gender. However, male identified shamans, while having to be intouch with their feminine aspects, must be able to use masculine power. The same applies to women. Both must have a balance. SM can be a way to achieve that balance and to evoke the power.
        Geoff Mains called leatherfolk/SMers “Urban Aboriginals” in his book of that title about the subculture. He identified the rites and practices of leathermen as being similar to those of aboriginal tribespeople. In a world devoid of a tacit spirituality some of us have had to recreate it and live part of our lives in a shadowy, underground world. Often, that path has led us into shamanism and a very different view of the world.
        These loose subcultures of faeries, leatherfolk and assorted pagans have allowed the shamans among them to develop and practice fully. However, these groups cannot be considered as religious cults, although they have rituals.
        In shamanic training one must learn rituals, endure rites of passage and submit oneself to a teacher. In SM one does this, too. To learn the art one should begin as the submissive or student. It is a powerful interaction between master and pupil. Such rites of passage into shamanism are tests or ordeals to temper and refine the initiate. Shamanism is a dangerous profession. It’s not an easy way of life. Experiences must be intense to be significant and meaningful and cause the required inner changes.
        Shamans must be twilight or dawn people, having some of the light as well as the dark. The dark side is not evil, but the path of experience, good or bad, such as in SM. In either total light or dark we do not see, so we need some of both. Most rites of passage are experiences of working through the dark and coming back into the light.
        There are many ways to shamanism. SM is only one way; it is not a path for everyone, but within faerydom there are many ways. Each shaman must choose his own path to discover and enhance his own innate powers. Therefore we must be careful never to allow faerydom to become a religion having a fixed doctrine and standardized theology. In faerydom there is no single, unifying vision, but many visions, many possibilities. Every shaman knows that there is more than one way.
        Shamanism is not a religion. The true shaman is not a priest, yet is a spiritual leader. Often, to practice the power, the shaman goes unseen and unknown. A public display of power is rare, saved for tribal ceremonies. The shaman’s knowledge is hidden from most people. The shaman does not brag about it, but often practices alone or with a few of his kind or with those whom he helps. He/she may have to be devious, discrete and diplomatic. Chameleon-like behavior hides his depths like that of an iceberg, the larger part lying beneath the surface. No cult is allowed to form around him/her as with gurus. Shamans will not be manipulated.
        Shamans do not join a cult or religion, however, may respect the beliefs of some, but not all. Through vision and sound psychology he/she may give political or spiritual direction to an individual or tribe. That common sense psychology and the ability to read people, see their buttons, push and manipulate them are as much a part of shamanism as the vision quest, spells and herbal knowledge.
        The closest models we have for shamanism are historical tribal peoples, especially the Native Americans or from the books of Carlos Casteneda and Lynn Andrews. Most of us aren’t Native Americans, however. We have no shamanic tradition of our own, not necessarily a negative situation because every culture has its limits of vision and interpretation of reality, and not all are relevant to us today. We have had to create and develop traditions of our own relevant to us. The modern gay community is a phenomenon that hasn’t existed before, and thus we have been developing our traditions within it while keeping the whole of society in mind. After all, we are products of our society, even if we live on the edge of it. So I don’t think we can be shamans based on any past cultural model, but we can learn from each one.
        A major problem exists because our society doesn’t accept shamanism or magic except as anthropological study. Even with the new age interest in metaphysics and the search for a new spirituality having a significant influence on current thought, the shaman has no place in our culture. But the need may open the door. The medical doctor, the priest and the psychologist are poor substitutes attempting to fill the vacuum left by the loss of the integrated spiritual healer/visionary. The priest and MD are not healers, but overspecialized techno-pawns in an institutional hierarchy of political power, sometimes useful in their own right, but too limited.
        Nevertheless, our society needs shamans. It needs those of us who have the ability to be detached, to play the role of outsider standing beyond the cultural boundaries looking inward and sharing that vision. Such beings are feared or ridiculed, especially in a society that tends only to look outward. We are perceived as a threat. It may be this that is the unrecognized fear rather than that of homosexuality. If we can’t face our fears, then we can’t know what those are. Remember the witch-hunts, irrational as they were, held deeper fears - the unexamined fear projected outward onto a scapegoat. Our vision is indeed dangerous to our society because our culture’s prevailing magic, science, admits of no other viewpoints, but that is its weakness.
        The split between science and religion presages its potential downfall. Two sets of opposing myths are operating here. It is the schizophrenic society. Science is logical and rational, requiring hard proofs, religion is emotional and political, the realm of unsupported beliefs and personal, experiential reality. No one reconciles them. We should wonder whether anyone wants to or perceives how to do it. It has become a trap, a philosophical impasse.
        For those of us who have taken the shamanic path, we fill the social role despite our society’s views and blindness. However, we will probably have to practice our art deviously, keeping in the background, not exposing our power, not being accepted, because of we make our power known others will try to exploit it or destroy us out of fear. Our protection is anonymity and secrecy except within our own circles.
        When we go back into the world we have to be like chameleons and adapt a coloration in order to blend in with that world, interact with and be a part of it. Faeries and leatherfolk practicing their specialties together in isolation from society are necessary, but will estrange us from society. We must be able to reach out to others not of our beliefs if we are to teach them and serve all of society rather than just ourselves.
        For whatever reason that nature produces us it enhances human survival and possibly human evolution. If our society collapses we will have the vision and the healing powers to assist in the formation of a new culture which will not repeat the mistakes of the old and in which we have a place.
        I want to believe that most of us know ours is not an easy path. It is fraught with dangers. Also, we have almost no support from a society that doesn’t even know it needs us. Our support is within ourselves and among our brother and sister faeries, leatherfolk and pagans. We can learn from each other to again loose magic upon the world.

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